Neko

An orange post means it's a post with a trigger warning! This one is about weightloss. Again, I try to stay away from toxicity in the weightloss community but I know how delicate of a subject weightloss in general is, so please be aware of the subject and continue reading at your own risk.

Week one is done! I don't feel comfortable talking about my actual numbers on the scale, nor do I think it adds much value to the reader so I will refrain from doing so.

Overall, it has been a good week. Eating habit wise, I think I've done pretty 'good', I mostly sticked to the plan. In the weekend I deviated a bit because I went to visit my parents and I'm not going to ask them to measure everything out for me so I can enter food correctly into my app. I also went to a coffee shop and had a tiny pastry with my coffee and I don't know how to enter that either. Nor am I going to make a big deal out of it.

But Monday-Friday I tracked EVERYTHING. So here are the results of that on average:

• 1603 kcal per day - This is lower than what I said last week. I have not been hungry so in that sense it's fine. And also, I only played tennis once (1) this week, I didn't go for a walk, I did not walk to the station from the office. I just sat the whole time. So I don't think it's an issue this time around. However, I really want to focus on my exercise this week and then it does need to increase.
• 95g of protein per day - only 5 grams short of my goal, which is completely fine.
• 40g of fiber a day - smashed that one as the goal was 30
• 13g of added sugar a day - this is mostly because of the apple treacle (full of iron!) I've been eating on bread. And actually way below my target goal I realise when writing this, so, smashed that one too.
• 4/7 days have been 100% vegetarian, 1 day I had salmon and shrimp, 1 day I only had shrimp and 1 day I had sliced meat on bread. Honestly, it's not perfect, but I'm not mad.
• Water intake, I did not really track it but believe me, abysmal. I hardly drank any pure water. I don't even think I drank enough fluids besides water to get to 2l a day.
• Eating pretty much the same everyday for breakfast, lunch and snacks - worked like a charm, which I knew it would. So that's great.

Looking at the 'stats', I think I get to be proud of myself. The scale also did show a significant loss compared to last week but I know for a fact that's also waterweight that has finally been released after a few hot days.

What also REALLY worked well for me was that I am crocheting now. And I am enjoying it. And it takes me hours. And those hours spending using my hands to crochet are therefore not being used to get myself a million little snackies.

My main areas of attention for the coming week will be:

• Drinking 2l of water
• Exercise daily, at least a walk.
• Make sure I reach my calorie goal when exercising.
• Keep doing the good work I've been doing last week with the rest of my diet.

I tried to keep this post from being triggering but I know everyone has their own triggers. While I try to stay away from a toxic mindset, if any talk about weightloss triggers you, please don't read any further.

I've always been overweight, basically for as long as can remember. Tbh, if I look back at myself I remember feeling very overweight back then, but now I'm like, no girl you were fine back then. I'm not now. I know BMI is arbitrary at best but one way or another, I am overweight. By quite a lot. So far I haven't had any physical issues because of it yet, but considering I'm in my thirties, I'm afraid that's only a matter of time. So I want to lose weight. I need to lose weight.

The problem however, is the actual losing weight part. I understand the mechanics: I need to consume less calories than I burn. It sounds so simple. Unfortunately I can find a million reasons during the week to diverge from my mealplan and as result I'm not really losing any. I'm also not gaining which is nice (I've kept the 10kgs I lost last year off for over a year now) but it really sucks to feel like I'm on a diet / restricting myself and to then only stay the same.

So I figured, I have a blog now, I can post whatever I want on it. Why not try to build in some accountability by posting about my journey on here. I know I find it really hard to be honest about my own transgressions to other people in the community because for one (1), I am ashamed and for two (2), people are hella judgemental over there. This is my safe space.

So starting today, I will give a weekly update on how the meal/movement plan is going. Do NOT take anything I say as actual (medical) advice. Clearly, I don't know what the fuck I'm doing either. I'm constantly learning about healthy(ier) foods and as someone who grew up in the age of "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels" (thanks for completely destroying my self image back then) I want want to be só wary of not becoming part of the toxic weightloss world.

My food goals for this week are:

• Eat within my calories: 1800 kcal per day;
• Reach my protein goal: over 100g of protein per day, preferably somewhat equally spread out over my meals;
• Reach my fiber goal: over 30g of fiber per day, preferably somewhat equally spread out over my meals;
• Eat as little of added sugars as possible: less than 45g per day;
• Eat as 'pure' as possible: greek yoghurt instead of protein powder, etc.;
• Eat mostly vegetarian.
• Drink mostly water. I have a tendency to drink a lot of zero drinks when trying to lose weight, and whilst it is fine calorie-wise, I don't think I should depend on it as much as I do.
• Just eat the same everyday for breakfast, lunch and snacks. I truly don't mind and it makes making choices so much easier during the week.

This is what the basis of the meal plan looks like:

• Breakfast: 446kcal
  • overnight oats (25g oat bran, 50g oats, as much water as needed, 200g greek yoghurt, a small chopped apple). Nutrients: 429kcal, 30g protein, 10g fiber, 0g added sugars.
  • coffee (50ml coconut barista). Nutrients: 17kcal, 1g protein, 0g fiber, 2g added sugars.
• Lunch: 482kcal
  • Two slices of bread (waldkorn whole wheat) with 50g smoked salmon. Nutrients: 256kcal, 18g protein, 6g fiber, 1g added sugars.
  • 3 rice cakes with 15g apple treacle. Nutrients: 158kcal, 2g protein, 2g fiber, 9g added sugars.
  • 200g carrots. Nutrients: 68kcal, 1g protein, 6g fiber, 0g added sugars.
• Dinner: about 500kcal
• Snacks: 354kcal
  • chia pudding (30g chia seeds, 125g greek yoghurt, 50g frozen raspberries (mushed)). Nutrients: 218kcal, 17g protein, 12g fiber, 0g added sugars.
  • 100g strawberries. Nutrients: 29kcal, 1g protein, 1g fiber, 0g added sugars.
  • 3 knäckebrod with 30g 15+ cheesespread. Nutrients: 136kcal, 7g protein, 8g fiber, 1g added sugars.

As for exercise:

• Do some form of active movement each day for 30minutes, this can be either a walk, RingFit, at home exercises, the gym or playing tennis (or whatever else, but these are my current forms of movement);
• Added bonus: reach 10k steps a day, but 30 minutes of active moment is enough to be proud;
• Play tennis at least once this week, preferably twice;
• Walk from the office to the station on Tuesday(s).